by Teresa Smith on August 2, 2010

Do you ever question what is going on in the world.  I’m sure parents and adults have questioned that for years.  I don’t have children, but I know of many friends, relatives, and clients that do.  I guess my parents questioned things that kids did back in the 60′s and 70′s.  I’m sure parents did the same in the 30′s and 40′s.   It’s very sad to see kids who were brought up well, seem to lose their direction.  I’m at the age where most of my friends and family are parents of teenagers or young adults.  I’ve watched these kids grow up and now I see parents questioning themselves and asking…. where did I go wrong or what did I do.

I don’t know why things happen the way they do…. why some kids go astray.  Is it about rebellion, finding yourself, fitting in with the crowd?     A friend of mine is struggling with her daughter.  Several months ago, the daughter came to her parents and stated that God told her that she was going to marry a certain person.  In the beginning of their relationship, everything had to do with what God wanted and what God was telling the two of them.  Since, she has severed ties with all of her friends and has become disrespectful and worse to her parents and sibling.   I’ve thought about trying to talk to her and just simply ask the question….. if God is truly in this relationship and God is telling you to marry this person, why would God be asking you to break so many of His commandments and laws.  If God is all about relationship…. which I believe He is, why would He put you in a relationship that is completely about one person and sever all relationships with your friends and family. That’s not the God that I know of.

I know of two ladies that are going through some really rough times with their children.  Both are dealing with their children currently or previously using drugs. It’s taken a terrible toll on each of these women and they both have developed health problems.  I can’t imagine raising a child, wanting only the best for him or her and seeing them do so much harm to themselves.   I just want to ask them what are you thinking! One of these kids is lucky to be alive and unfortunately I don’t see anything within him that says he wants to change.

Another client and I were talking the other day…. actually we were talking and it led into a TAT session.  She has had some physical problems for several years.  She’s also been under much stress concerning her child.   She and her husband want to see the best for their child, but don’t necessarily agree with everything he does.  As we were going through the TAT statements, she made the comment that there was a part of her that felt as if this was part of her punishment for a situation that happened over 15 – 20 years ago.  That’s a lot of guilt to hold onto.  Not only does she believe that some of her health problems are punishment for the situation, but she also believes that she is responsible for why her son is living the life that he is.

As we were going through the steps, she kept making statements such as I believe this can happen. I brought it to her attention that it seemed as though everything was in the future.  I asked her what if the healing had already happened. In a previous session, she received the information… it is finished, it is done, but yet she still is without peace.  She stated at times she felt peace, but other times, not.  She believed God had forgiven her, but the problem was… she had not forgiven herself.  She also had feelings of being abandoned by God.  During our recent session, I had her go into the TAT pose and imagine having a talk with God.   I asked her what was needed in order to help feel more at peace, forgiven, etc.   She heard… trust and have faith. There are so many parts and pieces to her story… guilt, abandonment, forgiveness, trust, and faith.   I suggested to her that every time she had feelings of fear, doubt, and worry to go into the pose or just have a conversation with God, asking Him to bring peace.

With all of these situations, TAT can be of help.  With each of these parents, there are so many aspects that TAT could be of benefit.  One TAT may not be enough and new aspects could arise.  With each of these, forgiveness can play such a great role. Forgiveness of others and forgiveness of self.

No matter what situation you currently find yourself, I invite you to try TAT, and allow forgiveness and transformation to come into your life.

Blessings in your week

PinExt Forgiveness

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

C August 2, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Well, Teresa…you KNOW this one hits home with me! In fact, I wasn’t sure that I wasn’t one of the Moms you mentioned! I have been working on turning things over to God, and while it isn’t easy, it does seem to ease my mind somewhat. Thanks for these articles..I truly look forward to them every week.

Teresa August 2, 2010 at 9:27 pm

Hi C,
You have been through a lot also. I know you want to take care of your child, but you must also take care of yourself to remain strong for her. Thank you for your comments.

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