Beautiful

by Teresa Smith on February 7, 2011

I went to a book study Saturday night.  A great group of people and of course, everyone brings great food. We are reading a book called Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn’t Show Up the Way You Thought He Would? by Pete Wilson.  Last night was our first night of the book study. Each time we gather we will have read two chapters and there is discussion after we eat. We’ve only read the first two chapters, but it seems like a great book and I suggest you find a copy and read it.

So, what do you do when God doesn’t show up the way you thought He would or life doesn’t happen the way you thought it would or should? So many times we get angry, frustrated, even bitter. We may blame others, we may blame God, and we may even blame ourselves. We always want to blame someone don’t we?  Don’t we believe we feel better if we can find someone at fault. Do we really feel better once we perceive to find fault with someone or something?  As humans we like to judge.  Sometimes we like to be judge and jury.

What if we could learn to be content in everything we do. Whether life is happening as we would like or in times when things aren’t going just as we had planned, wouldn’t it be great to be content.  Wouldn’t it be great to live without judgment…. judgment of others… but even greater, judgment of self.  I don’t know about you, but over the years, I’ve discovered how much judgment of self I have. If I could count all of the ‘I should haves‘ I would probably be a wealthy person right now.

It’s pretty interesting that we started this book study this week.  Maybe I was preparing for it, because I’ve been judging myself a lot of late. As stated in previous posts, I was quite sick as a child.  I went to doctors, but never found any help.  I was also in a corporate job for 21 years and enjoyed it at the time, but felt led to quit that job and pursue a totally different career.  It amazes me that I quit the corporate job and because I never found help through allopathic (traditional) medicine, I was led to try alternative therapies and today I am in alternative healthcare.  Does that amaze God?  No.  Do I believe that my whole life has been a coincidence?  No.  I believe there has always been a plan. A plan that I’m not always aware of, but God is.  So these past few months that I have struggled with ‘why is my life not going the way I thought it should be‘… I may not be aware of what’s going on, but I still know God does.

The other day I did a TAT with a friend of mine.  I’ve been working with her and her son.  I wanted to work with her because she has such great insight.  Actually, the TAT was on me and all of my judgments, beliefs, and feelings concerning what was going on in my life.  I found it was great to have her for support, accountability, but also her spiritual insight.  What came up in the TAT session was my perception of God.  I had rid myself of the perception that God was this big guy that was just waiting for me to do something wrong, but apparently I still had some additional work that needed to be done on my perception of God. I had found in the past few weeks that I had become angry with how things were going and couldn’t understand why God didn’t seem to be helping me, guiding me.  Where was He? I got frustrated and my friend had listened to my whining the other day. As we were doing the TAT, I had thoughts that God was saying… ‘oh yeh, I’ll give you something to whine about.  You think your life is not so great now, I’ll show you.’  Where did that thought come from.  I can tell you it didn’t come from God.  So we worked on all of that in the TAT. What also came up was more beliefs concerning ‘self worth’.  I worked on that too.

For the time being, I’m trying to be content with what is going on.  I know I trust God, I just don’t know if I trust myself to always hear and see what God is trying to tell me… ah, something else to TAT on.  Yes, I’m sure there is much more to TAT on.  Beliefs I’ve picked up about working, self worth, success, money, religious views on all these, views that have become negatively distorted.  Yes… I’ve got more work to do, but at least I realize there is work to do.  In the past, before learning some of these alternative therapies, I would not even have the hope that change was possible.  Today… I know there are possibilities. Possibilities that I can love, accept, that I can see myself living.

I leave you today with some words to a song I was listening to as I was writing this post.  The song is called “Beautiful” by MercyMe. I believe instead of judging ourselves or questioning our worthiness, we need to realize… WE are Beautiful.

Blessings in the coming week

 

Days will come when you don’t have the strength

When all you hear is you’re not worth anything

Wondering if you ever could be loved

And if they truly saw your heart they’d see too much

And praying that you have the heart to find

Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight

For all the lies you’ve held inside so long

And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

Before you ever took a breath

Long before the world began

Of all the wonders He possessed

There was one more precious

Of all the earth and skies above

You’re the one He madly loves enough to die

You’re beautiful

You’re beautiful

In His eyes

You’re beautiful

You are made for so much more than all of this

You’re beautiful

You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His


 Beautiful
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